Worth writing

Assalamualaikum.

I am now incharge for the new unit. Novel unit to be exact. So, today. I met one of the writers that I am working with. We've been contacting each other through sms(s) and call(s) (he did not have whatsapp so I dont really know how he looks like) but I have never really meet him in person. So today is the day. 

He is. Handsome. Not that-adam-levine-handsome but he is somehow goodlooking. His clothes are neat and tidy. Not to mention, he is very polite. The type of man that any girl would fall in love with. 

Because he came all the way from Penang to Kuala Lumpur to sign some shitty form, I think it is not appropriate to just send him home in empty-stomach. So we went out for coffee. Something interesting happened there. 

He told me about his fiancee (my heart broke into pieces. Come on man, you could've been mine hahahaha I kid I kid) He told me that they've been together since both of them were 13. And the interesting part for me was when he started describing his fiancee

'Dia bukan jenis moden pakai jeans pakai  selendang macam Aina. Dia gadis kampung yang betul-betul kampung. Dia pakai tudung selempang tepi, dan selalu pakai satu kerongsang bunga.'  

'Dia pun tak suka minum coffee macam ni Aina, kalau keluaq makan pun dia suka pi tempat yang boleh makan sampai kenyang. Macam nasi kandaq'

I mean come on, comel gila kot! Dia sedar tunang dia suka pakai apa dan all the small things. Ish

He laughed and then he continued saying this 

'Comel betul dia tu. Kecil molek je orangnya. Soulmate saya' 

There.

Ada lagi rupanya lelaki macam ni. God! 

He is very polite. We chatted around and then I send him to the station. 

Wow. I must say, I am really impressed by his well-being, by his manners and of course by his love that he have for his late-dad, late-brother ,his family and his fiancee. 

He is something that we could not really find nowadays. The perfect end for my 2015. 

I think. He is something that worth writing for. 

Erti 7Disember tahun ini.

Assalamualaikum. 

Hari ini aku belajar dan sedar faham satu perkara. You dont need to tell them how important you are. Kalau mereka sedar, appreciate them. Tapi kalau tidak, tak apa. Mungkin masa kau dah tak bernyawa nanti baru mereka akan cerita pasal kau. (Waktu itu pun kau tak akan peduli sebab kau lagi sibuk mengenang nasib kau bila disoal munkar nankir nanti) 

Kesimpulannya. Be happy. Do what makes you happy. Appreciate life and your loved ones. Walk away from people who hurt you, or even people who puts too much negative vibes in your life. You dont need that. 

Happy 26th birthday Aliaa Aaina. Terima kasih yang Maha Esa untuk pinjaman nyawa. Dan segala nikmat kurnia yang tidak terucap dengan kata kata. Alhamdulillah syukur Ya Allah. 

Midnight ramblings

Assalamualaikum.

I tried to sleep but I couldnt. Hence, this post. 

There's a burden inside my chest. It fills all of the area and I can't really breathe. Instead of hugging my pillow like what I used to do, I hug my blanket. Really tight. But the pain is still there. And it wanders through my veins and ended up in my brain. So its kinda stuck there replaying all the scenes. Scary scenes that my brain created just to ruin my life. 

They said people who sleeps with many pillows have problems with their self esteem. I have err 4 pillows and two teddy bears in my bed. So...

Yeah. 

Penamat

Assalamualaikum. 

Dua tahun bukan tempoh yang sekejap. Sedangkan kau jumpa orang dua minggu pun, bila berpisah kau akan rindu. Ini pulak dua tahun. Mula-mula rasa jelak jugak bila orang asyik pertikaikan kerja aku di meja aku. Kata kata macam, eh senang je kan duduk meja ni dan sepuluh juta bahan jenaka pasal benda yang sama. Memang buat aku muak. Tapi. Jujur kata. Meja ini yang ajar aku cara menulis. Cara mendekat. Cara menjauh. Cara goreng. Cara temubual orang. Dan macam macam lagi. Dan semua tu berakhir hari ini. 

Aku takkan lupa pengalaman pergi assignments naik motor. sesat larat menempuh jalan kl yang memang sangay asing bagi aku. Bila terlampau jauh, naik tren sebab masa tu baru kerja tak mampu nak pakai kereta. Pengalaman menangis sebab tak reti buat artikel. Kena edit lapan juta kali masih tak diterima. Pengalaman jumpa macam macam jenis orang. Daripada yang baik sampailah ke penipu besar. Pengalaman jumpa artis lama. Ya Allah. Sayangnya aku dekat majalah ni. Mastika is my comfort zone, and now maybe its time for me to walk out from it. 

Terima kasih Mastika untuk dua tahun yang macam macam ragam ini. Seriously, aku pasti aku akan rindu. 

Dan selamat datang tugas baru. Semoga aku mampu buat yang terbaik. 

Doakan aku!

Mhm

Tengah fikir nak private blog ini. Supaya dia jadi tempat aku rant sorang sorang. Tapi nanti cerpen nak pos kat mana? Adohai. 

Kryptonite

Assalamualaikum. 

Ada benda yang kadang kadang. Lagi elok pendam daripada luah. Kadanglah. Sebab kata kata ni boleh jadi lagi tajam daripada pisau sembelih lembu. Tajam yang tusuk jauh ke jurang paling dalam ceruk hati seseorang. Luka dalam ni bukan boleh nampak pun dah sembuh ke belum. Selalunya kulit luaran sahaja nampak macam tak ada apa. Tapi nun jauh di sana tu koyak rabak serupa kain buruk. 

Tapi tu kadanglah. Kadang tu cakap salah. Tak cakap pun salah. Tak luah makan diri. Luah karang entah apa pulak jadi. 

Entah. Cerita dekat Tuhan sajalah. DIA dengar dan sudah pasti 200% DIA peduli. Kan?  

Aku serius dah tak ada masa. Eh bukan. Tak ada daya nak layan benda remeh macam ni lagi. 

I know where I stand. Korang rilek jelah situ. K rilek je. 

ehems

Assalamualaikum.

Hai lama tak jumpa. sihat tak semuanya. *sapu sampah, lap sawang, bakar blog* K yang bakar blog tu tipu je.

I met an old friend few days before. lamalah tak jumpanya. almost 3, 4 years macam tu? we shared some stories, well actually he did. and I am amazed at how easy he can pour all the words to me. As if he has this one fine trust wall for me. I mean macam mana dia boleh yakin I wouldnt blog about it? hahaha I wont. dont worry.

And I tried to do the same, tapi rasa macam cerita tu tak berapa sampai pada dia. lololol. still bad at telling people my problems I guess. But not much things changed since last I saw him.

I am glad we can still talk about many things, from the stupid one sampailah yang paling serius sampai on my way back home, I cant help but think "OMG tuanya aku sekarang, cant believe we talked about that. 3 years back aku tak tahu pun apa semua tu. god god god. Tuanya aku" insecure women detected. hahaha

yes. I had fun. dont know about him but I did.

oh haah, hari ini birthday adik bongsu. dan esok puasa.

Salam Ramadhan. kenmain simple update kali ni.