Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Of Journey

3 years passes so fast. I am finally and officially graduated. The end of one journey is definitely a beginning of another. thank you for all the memories whether good or bad, happy or sad. It made me who I am today. 

3 years and this is the first time ever I stepped my foot at the 'Bukit Iklan'

 them boys who took me here. thanks korang kalau tak taktau bilamasanya nak jejak sini.

I will always miss this place. the memories. and the people in it. 
(walhal UPM tu 5 minit je daripada opis. korang diam. biar aku nak konon-konon emo. hahahah)

Friday, October 18, 2013



Caught red-handed by abang Naze just now while I am about to start writing. because of the title. Aaaabang Naze you why you why you like that. -.-
and I spent about 5mins explaining why I put that kind of tajuk #facepalm. 

Yes you are right abang Naze. (incase you read this)

but I have sorted that things out. Allah swt sebaik-baik perancang. there must be a solid reason for whatever things that happened to me. Insha-Allah.

But I am glad I got some people that I can trust here. Thank you Allah for this.

its nice to have someone to turn to when you're feeling down.
Kak Nita, Kak Nonie and abang Naze. Thank you. really :)

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


save my soul tonight.

never take anybody for granted. because we never know. maybe that second would be the last chance for us to see them happy. maybe we would be the last sad thing that ever happen to them. maybe when we realize what's really worth  for us. they'll be gone. maybe they would never come back even if we cried our eyes out. maybe HE'll take them from us. sooner.or later. or now. . or maybe we would be the one who'll never come back..and if I could trade all of the thing I have right now. I would., for you

I never thought I'd be this sad when your gone. I have always been the strong one. I never said 'Im sorry' even when what I did was wrong. And you'll be the one who say those words all along.

You're pretty when you smile. that piece of cloth on top of your head. I always hated it before. But I like it now. You're pretty inside-out.

You cried. I never felt guilty before. why do I feel it now. You look pale. I have never seen you this sad before. not even when I hit you. not even when your lips were bleeding.


why do you still love me when what I ever did was hurting you. why? why am I so blind to see al of this.

I wanted to hold you back. please don't lose faith on me.

I never thought I would be this lost without you. But you are far from my reach.

If I could trade all of the thing I have now. I would, for you. But I don't even own my soul anymore.

" Be safe. I know this might be

too late. but I love you" I whisper it to your ear, eventhough I know you would never hear me.

" I love you so much. Please come back. Please. Please. I'd do anything for you. Please." I heard you say. You cried again. You were holding my hand.

"time of death :10 44pm. I am very sorry for your loss Miss."

I guess this is good-bye.

picture from

tulis dah lama tapi entah kenapa tak ada hati nak publish. rekaan minda semata.

Friday, October 11, 2013

susah nyahh


its not easy for me to not curse. I curse a lot. I curse at people. things. animals. cars. rocks. everything. And I am not proud of that. that is the main reason why I decided not to curse anymore. ah tipu. Not to curse out loud anymore. haa ni betul sikit.

Old habits die hard. Yah. this is super hard. but I am restraining myself from using such word in public. And its not easy.

" Benda baik ni memang susah nak buat Na, Syaitan dengki" a friend of mine say this to me.

 Yap. true that.

Sunday, October 6, 2013


كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ

“Tiap-tiap yg mempunyai jiwa akan merasakan kematian.”
 surah al-A'raaf ayat 34.

Al-fatihah buat arwah Iris Amni binti Firhat Yasir

I may not know you well, but I will always remember you as a smart young girl. rest in peace little one. May Allah grant you paradise.  


Saturday, October 5, 2013



What would you feel if your love ones is laying down in the hospital bed fighting her life to survive. And there is nothing you could do to help her ease the pain. When you can only pray for the best.

one of my officemate's daughter is in the ICU right now. She is one of the brightest girl I have ever met. she talks a lot. she tells stories. She is a very outspoken little girl. and she is a cutie pie.

A friend said to me "sedihnya. rasa mcm anak sendiri yang sakit" Well, I don't have a daughter but I feel the pain too. Its not easy seeing someone you love to be sick. not.easy.

Kakak doakan Iris cepat sembuh. Doktor bukan Tuhan. Iris kuatkan semangat.

Whoever come across this entry. Please pray for Iris Amni. please.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Do you?


Do you know that feeling when you are upset and you want to write it down but you don't want anyone to know but you need to let it out and you just don't have any idea what you should do about it. Do you?

Well. I do.