Friday, August 18, 2017

brainfarts

Assalamualaikum.

I remembered one day my dad told us, how his siblings used to be. they were very closed. well, of course they fight, and hate each other at times, love them at other. blood is thicker than water huh. but now, they did not talk to each other for a very long time. they fought (and still fight) about late grandparents inheritance. its a very loooooooong story and I only know one part of the story (my dad). I mean to be fair, I need to know whats on the other sides kan barulah boleh sembang.

So thing is, all of my siblings were grown up by now. my brother is 33, me myself 28, sisters at 23, and 22.

As we grow up, I could see that each one of us have our own thoughts and what we stand for. we have become somehow more selfish, more arrogant, more ignorant, more and more about 'ME' instead of 'US' . I have a lot of dissatisfaction towards them and I KNOW FOR SURE, that they have the same thoughts of me too.

And I can see, we might somehow ended up where my dad is. Not talking to each other anymore. But I pray with all of my heart, if anything happens, if we ever fight and stop talking to each other in the future, I hope that we will never fight over harta or money.

For the first time in forever, I could not wait to get married, to move away from the family. and that is not easy too. I'm struggling to save some money for the kenduri, but each month I dont have any choice but to take that money and pay for the necessities. And it left me with none.

at this age, I dont want any fancy weddings, just me, him, the families and some close friends. thats more than enough.

wow apeni merapunya. Because I have loads in mind. so I need to let it out. you know, girl with anxiety. and I know nobodys reading.

oklah need to go pooping.


Tuesday, April 25, 2017

hello yellow

Assalamualaikum.

That title, just because it ryhmes. hehe

I think I need to start writing again. I dont have any memories about what had happened in my life because I did not jot it down. So here I am, trying to make writing in this blog, a routine again.

I said 'I'll try" okay? not today. hehe bye




Friday, January 6, 2017

6/365

Assalamualaikum.


Sebab haritu aku tak edit pun post dan sums up keseluruhan tahun 2016 aku. biarlah aku mula dengan tahun baru. Sedikit ujian di awal tahun, Ojen. kucing yang aku bela dah 6 tahun, hilang kena curi. Satu keluarga meoroyan dua tiga hari. Masih bersedih sampai sekarang sebab sayang. Semoga yang ambil tu sayang dia sesayangnya kami pada dia.

New year resolutions. I really dont believe that shit tapi adalah sikit-sikit angan yang aku sempat pasang tahun ini. Semoga tahun ini, mampu hafal lebih banyak surah-surah pendek buat bacaan dalam sembahyang. Nak khatam Al-Quran 2 kali, lebihkan ibadah. lebihkan senyum. lebihkan sedekah. Bukan apa, aku rasa kita semua tak punya banyak masa untuk semua ni. Sekurang-kurangnya kalau 'dijemput' nanti adalah 'bekal' buat masa lapar.

Masih belum ada sinar nak berdua atau bertiga atau berberapa-berapa. haha. Semoga tahun ini dimurahkan rezeki kerja, rezeki nak berkhidmat untuk keluarga. Semoga ditetapkan hati dengan jodoh yang tepat. Yang akhir hendaknya. Semoga diteguhkan hati kami dengan rasa 'sayang' ini  kerana Tuhan.

Semoga insan-insan yang aku sayang semuanya dilimpahkan kurnia yang indah daripada Tuhan. Semoga yang menanti cahayamata, dikurniakan yang soleh-soleh semuanya. Yang menanti jodoh, dipercepatkan dan dipermudahkan urusan, yang mencari kerja, diberikan rezeki melimpah luah, yang mencari jalan menuju Tuhan, dibukakan jalan seluas-luasnya.

Semoga adik-adik aku cemerlang pelajaran, cemerlang kesihatan, cermerlang dan bertambah iman. semoga mama babah masih sihat tanpa sebarang sakit kronik.

Kalaupun ada ujian melanda, semoga dengan ujian itu, menambah iman dalam hati, meneguhkan diri dengan agama. menjadikan kita lebih kuat daripada sebelumnya.

Semoga, segala yang indah-indah ditakdirkan laluannya dalam hidup aku, dan mereka-mereka yang aku sayang.

Semoga kita sentiasa, bersyukur dengan nikmat Allah. Amin.



(boleh tahan serius juga aku sekarang, hehe)



Saturday, December 31, 2016

366/366

Assalamualaikum. 

Its the last day of the year and I am sleepy i will edit this later i promise selamat tahun baru. Bye. 

Monday, December 19, 2016

Late night post

Assalamualaikum. 

Dulu. Aku nak yang dulu. Kembali pada suatu masa yang mana kerisauan aku hanyalah babah marah kalau balik lambat. Dulu. 

You see. Aku sedang di dalam fasa di mana aku mengalami depresi yang amat teruk. I am that close of seeing a doctor for the matter. Dan apa yang lagi merunsingkan. Dunia tak boleh tahu tentang ini. Alah. Aina yang chatterbox tu depression? Like who the hell would buy that. Kan? So. I masked it all up with a happy face. Dalam. Tuhan saja yang tahu. 

And to make things worse. Explaining to people (closed one) why were you having this 'penyakit' its like convincing them to believe; aku tak gila. Sakit sikit je. Luls. 

Ah moga malam ini masih bisa tidur tanpa bantuan (pil) 

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Ciku

Assalamualaikum. 

If my cat could teach me anything in life (apart from ignoring people and eat a lot despite how fat you are) it is that no matter how much money you have you can never buy health and happiness. 

Ciku, I hope you can run now. Run and eat as much as you want. You can come and check on us if you misses us. Know this, you own special spot in my heart. I am sorry if i ever made you angry or feel unloved. 

I hope I can see you again. 

Sleep tight baby. 

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Pre-ramadhan post.

Assalamualaikum. 

Ive been planning to write about many things. But I got lazy, I have no idea how to start, the internet connection sucks and blablablabla. 

Let me just sums up everything. Just for me to remember. 

I had a major operation ; removing ovarian cyst on last 28th April. That was the first time ever I've been warded in the hospital. Went through confinement like a boss. (Air halia+kunyit, pati ikan haruan +gamat and lots of slow walking in kain batik with my hair tied up,sexy I know)
Lost few kilos, stay at home for 21days seronok gilasss nyah! And back to mountains of workloads *cries*

Bought same colour but different pattern baju kurungs for everybody. Tetiba makma punya warna kelabu demmit instagram photo! So jalan penyelesaian, babah will wear gray baju Melayu with blue samping. Mama will wear gray baju kurung with blue tudung. And the three of us will wear blue baju kurung with gray scarf. Fuh settle. 

I swear I have so many things to tell just now sekarang tiba2 hilang. Yissss. 

Anyway, selamat berpuasa. Selamat menahan nafsu. Selamat mengumpul pahala. Semoga berat badan berkurang, dosa pun berganda2 berkurang. Insha-Allah.