Growing up as the first daughter, I always need to be 'the one'. I dont know how thing works in other families, but in mine, I need to be the one who never cried over small things ( I did anyway). The one who needs to be clever all the time (which I don't). The one who held responsible of whatever my younger siblings did. The one to be the 'role model' to the younger.The one who needs to cleans up the mess in the house. the one who need to fold all the clothes and put them on the owners cupboard. The one who ironed all baju kurung/tudung/baju Melayu when it comes to Raya. the one who washed the dishes. the one who need to be less selfish and put the family first before herself.The one. And mind you I am not the first child in the family. its just that my big brother screwed up so much that I have to be the black sheep. to cover all of his shits. Its like I am an experimental material. They be like 'oh things din work out like this with the big brother so we need to pushed this girl to the limit she wont even feel like human ever again.'
Still. I am the least favourite daughter who never once make him proud. Never.