A good friend of mine once asked me “ Ena, kereta apa awak suka ey? Yang awak nak beli?” We were in the car at that time. I don’t know what make her ask the question. I bet that is just some random q’s popped-out from her mouth.During that time my mind goes blank. I don’t even know the answer which I know not even important to be answered that time.And my two other friends started to name their favourite car yadayadayada.Only today I realize the reason why I couldn’t answer that simple question. It is because,I never dream of having a car. A house. A family. Everything.I don’t remember when was the last time I ever dream of having anything.My mind taught me not to. I looked at things and start remembering myself. YOU NEVER GONNA GET THOSE. The entire negative thought. And there I go feeling useless. Again.
My emotions are at stake now. I even googled on ‘How NOT to cry” .
December has never been a pleasant month for me. Not that I remembered.
I'd love to. trust me.