#PrayforMH370

Assalamualaikum.

No words could actually describe how I felt about the missing of MH370 Aircraft. There were hundreds of people boarding that plane. And this tragedy happened on one of my younger sibling's birthday. 8th March 2014.

How would you feel if you were left waiting for your family members who are yet to arrive. Who are yet to be found alive. Who's fate is still unknown.

every breath you take. You'll feel some sort of rope twisting around your neck. The breathing gets harder when someone says "hey, they found the aircraft floating! hey, the aircraft explodes in the air.."  Would you even care to understand? because I have seen some of that ungrateful bastards who kept on mocking the situation. Its you whom I hope to be found dead in the middle of nowhere. So sad to know such people still exist in this millennium era.

My heart goes out for all the affected family members of every passenger and crew of the aircraft. May Allah ease everything. Innalillahiwainnailaihirajiun.

keroncong untuk Ana

Assalamualaikum.

Harini aku nak bercerita. cerita tentang seorang daripada entah berapa ratus kawan yang aku ada. kawan yang tak adalah rapat mana. kawan yang orang kata..'biasa-biasa' sahaja.

yang aku perasan,

dia hanya bercakap apa yang perlu. dan setiap kata yang keluar daripada mulut dia tu bunyinya sungguh ikhlas dan jujur. dan dia juga sangat random orangnya. sebagai contoh, pernah satu hari (yang mana masa itu aku memang sangat stress dan berkemungkinan membunuh sesiapa sahaja yang lalu di depan aku) dia lalu dan berhenti di meja aku

"Aina, can I ask you something, Why do you look so sad?"

Yes. selalunya dia memang speaking London sama aku. dengan orang lain elok pulak dia cakap bahasa Melayu. 

tepat pada waktu. atau salah waktu. entah. aku pun taktahu. aku nafikanlah tuduhan dia of course. sebab aku tak tunjuk pun cuma aku kurang bercakap. jadi aku tanya. kenapa dia cakap macam tu?

" Because I dreamt of you. And you looked so sad but I didn't got the chance to ask why. in that dream"

terus aku rasa budak ni bela hantu. Haha I kid I kid. yes. serandom itulah dirinya. dan dia ada banyak ciri-ciri muslimah yang aku suka. berilmu tapi tak berlagak dengan ilmu. sangat sederhana. cara bercakapnya. cara ketawa. cara makan. cara berbelanja. Tak memandang dan tak dipandang. sempoi.

Aku selalu perhatikan dia. Lepas Imam habis baca doa untuk solat jemaah. lepas habis semua bersalam. dia akan duduk balik atas sejadah. Lama. Diam. dan menangis. pernah juga aku tanya kenapa nangis ni ada masalah apa-apa ke?

jawapannya mudah. "Saya memang Emo kalau berdoa ni Aina, biasalah, orang banyak dosa"

PANGGGG *efek pelempang guna kaki di muka* yang kita ni panas bontot. sekejap sahaja berdoa. itu pun dalam kepala siap siap susun apa nak buat lepas solat.

Allah. hinanya aku.

Semoga Allah swt masih punya cinta dan kasih untuk bantu aku dan kau (sesiapa yang mungkin terbaca) mencari jalan menuju redhaNya. InshaAllah.

love story

Assalamualaikum.

Well, I guess it is true after all. I wouldn't really pour all the shits here if I am in a happy mood. I have seen some love stories. In real life and in the movies. Some makes me feels the jealousy of not having one. Some makes me thank God repeatedly for not having to deal with those shithead. lulz

And why the hell did I write about this? No idea trust me. because its 24th of February and I am in that time of the month where I got stressed over small things. (read: DATELINE)

Hands on the keybored now ( I sengaja eja keybored because I am so bored. geddit? geddit? Ahhhh wutevurrr)

sorry

Assalamualaikum.

Sometimes, I hate everything about me. Its hard when you kept on stumbling down when you tried so hard not to. And I hate myself for not being able to stand on my own two feet. I hate myself for being a coward. I hate myself for being alone. I hate myself for not being attractive. I hate myself for being fat. I hate myself for not having much friends that I can rely on. I hate myself for being a friend that no one could really rely on. I hate myself for being that ungrateful bitch. I hate myself. I really really hate myself.

Sorry self. I know how much you have tried. I know. HE knows too. Sorry for not being grateful. Sorry.

Shit. I really feel like crying now.

things to do

Assalamualaikum.

Because I kept forgetting what I should buy/do/avoid.

1- Get a voice recorder.
2- Buy baby's stuff. for Ansari's little girl
3-Shop for new square tudung. What I have now is too sheer/short.
4- Shawl to match my dress for Uya's Wedding.
5- Lose some weight (please please)


I think I have some more but I don't remember them. later maybe. 

big world.

Assalamualaikum.

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
Miss you much...

I can see the first leaf falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
Miss you much...

Outside it's now raining
And tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen
Why did it all have to end

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
Miss you much...

I have your arms around me ooooh like fire
But when I open my eyes
You're gone...

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much

Miss you much...

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do feel I will miss you much

Miss you much...


Sebab orang itu update guna lirik lagu. I feel like doing it too. playing on repeat. I'm a big big girl. (literally). used to sing this song when I was younger. and smaller. Happy birthday in advance Farra! Love you to bits. To Mommy bear, May Allah ease everything. May my little girl come in healthy and chubby. much love.

I dont know.

Assalamualaikum.

Saturday afternoon and now I am lying in my bed with teddy as my pillow. I don't know if anyone reads anyone's blog anymore. but I do. because  I don't know. I feel that I am closer to them by reading what they wrote.And no one really updates their blog right now. maybe because Its a hell lot easier to just post pictures on instagram or say whatever they wanted to say by tweeting it.

*inhales deep breath*

seeing school friends getting married ( did not attend because was not invited. if i do, I'll just give lame excuses -___-) scares the hell outta me because. weh I am 25 weh. this is how peer pressure felt. now I know okokok.

and yeah. I realize my PR skill sucks. because I don't really keep in touch with school friends and whatnot. No point of posting this entry but I sure will because sheeshh I am so stressed.


for no solid reason.blame the hormone. need some chocolate. and ice-cream. and drugs. and a gun. bye