rokok

asap rokok dihembus perlahan. matanya memandang tepat ke arah lelaki yang menyangkut satu batang kayu yang diikat dengan dua bendera Malaysia dibelakangnya.

"haa mula dah penyakit menggelamun. kau pandang dia buatpa. nak tiru dia?"

senyum.

"Dia nampak hina di dunia, tapi nanti mati berlari kakinya terus ke syurga. Waktu itu, baru kau sedar. siapa sebenarnya lebih hina."

ditinggalkan rakanya terkujat-kujat di situ.

dipijaknya puntung rokok. dalam kepala ligat suara halus bersuara. Itulah manusia yang konon cukup akalnya. kakinya berjalan ke arah ahli syurga tadi.

'Assalamualaikum bang, nak rokok?'

" Kau tahu, aku ni dulu askar!..."

Dan mereka duduk berbual berdua sambil diperhatikan manusia yang kononnya mulia.

numb

fuck being sad. I'm numb.

karma

hello. its been a while.

some people told me not to believe in karma. because it has to do with Hinduism and whatever. I don't believe in karma but I DO believe whatever we do will come back and haunt us. good and bad one. do good to others and you would get the same return as well. vice versa

I was so mad yesterday. and I keep blaming him on what he have done to me for the past 8/9 years. I think about all the bad memories. the good and sweet memories of us just swept away like that. I keep cursing him and all. then suddenly, I realize.

I did the same thing to my other friends too. She would always be there for me. never forget to wish me on my birthday and so on. But I just take her for granted. karma maybe?

I stop and I think. maybe this is just HIS way to make me realize that I too, make hell a gazillion of mistakes and bad things to other people. and just like that. I stop being mad.

what goes around comes around. Simple as that.

tak tahu

aku tak tahu apa-apa.

Cuma aku harap

Bila aku dilamun cinta nanti

Aku tak jadi bodoh kerananya.

tudung

suatu masa dahulu. masa tu kecik lagi aku rasa, tingkatan 2. kalau tak salah. and fyi, aku tak bertudung waktu itu dan aku rasakan sesiapa yang bertudung ni annoying sebab nak suruh-suruh orang lain pakai tudung. apehal kauu?

itu emosi budak tingkatan dua yang baru dapat period. tapi sebab kawan2 asyik bertalu2 suruh pakai tudung, aku diamkan mereka dengan berkata. "kalau aku mimpi jumpa rasulullah nanti, baru aku pakai tudung! kalau takde, takpayah!" kata aku dengan angkuh dan bodoh taktau nak habaq. bila pikir balik, kalau sekarang aku jumpa budak yang bagi alasan yang sama macam aku dulu, aku akan tarik rambut dia sampai botak.

Tapi Alhamdulillah, Tuhan bukak pintu hati aku, dan aku pun memilih untuk bertudung dengan rela hati pada usia aku 18 tahun. (rasanya, sebab mula pakai tudung bila masuk uniSZA)

dan masa itu bertudung tak menutup aurat pun. masih lagi tudung atas paras dada, baju lengan pendek dan sebagainya. jahil habaq hang, tutup aurat hanya tutup kepala (same goes to manusia yang suka berserban. I mean turban. )

sekarang baru nak berjinak ke arah cover your chest, covers whats need to be covered and all. dan masih belajar untuk kekal ke arah ini. daaann I didn't say aku ni baik ke menda. sebab aku tak baik. harapannya kalau ada kawan-kawan yang rasa dia lebih baik, mohon bimbing aku juga. moga kita sama-sama akan jadi yang terbaik.

tapi banyak hikmah yang aku nampak semenjak bertudung. Oleh sebab aku bertudung, maka kedua-dua adik perempuan aku memilih untuk bertudung. kira macam kakak role-model gituwww (haappptttuihhh) dan banyak lagi kejadian lain yang membuatkan aku bersyukur. sebab dibukakan pintu hati aku sendiri, tanpa paksaan sesiapa. Alhamdulillah


sebenarnya aku nak tulis pasal maulidurasul, dan teteiba teringat alasan bodoh aku untuk tidak bertudung satu ketika dahulu. jadi aku terasa nak share di sini :)

so thats it, Salam Maulidur Rasul people

it ends now..

well, today gonna be the last day of my internship. 4 months flew away so fast. Seems just like yesterday I thought I wouldn't make it. Four months. four effing months. and it ends now.

A very very very big thank you to encik dan, editor of Mastika, for being nice. for not asking me too much work. for not putting too much burden on my shoulder, for being super sporting when it comes to "encik dan saya nak cuti esok sebab.." (well, bukan selalu ponteng pun tapi he is so understanding) thank you thank you thank you.

thanks a bunch to kak nita. for editing my article, for the knowledge that you willing to share, for the experience in Malacca, for giving me simple jobs such as translating, for the lunch treat,thank you for everything.

thanks to abang napi, for being my friend. to tease, to laugh, to joke around, and thanks sebab belanja me makan that day too :p

thank you abang yus sebab jadi teman menggedik sepanjang 3 bulan pertama saya kat sini. and even when you're not here anymore, thank you sebab..argh thank you jelah.

thank you kak mas for the beautiful shawl, for the gift voucher, for the kerepek pisang, for sharing stories about your child with me.

thank you kak alin, for the magazines, for the minyak cap kapak whenever I have migraine attack. for the kuih muih di pagi hari. for being nice

thank you kak nonie for being cute. for the 'dirty jokes' hahahahaaha I still laugh whenever i think of that. and I cant wait to squeeze your baby! semoga selamat semuanya!

to abang naze, thank you for the positive words and advices! appreciate that! and for the 'lawak pisang" biarpun ia sudah tidak disiarkan lagi. for the cd too ;p

to abang nasa, abang boy, abang ambo, encik latip and all, thank you jugak sebab baik dengan kami berdua. :)

To kak Mai, thank you for being super-crazy-fun-to-be-with-you! for being super cool. thank you!

to amy and bella, thank you sudi melayan kami perasan artis tadi :)

and thank you all of you yang tiba-tiba bagi hadiah tadi. Appreciate that!


last but not least, to kak syadah. thank you for all the fuel you spent on us. thank you for being our friend. my friend. thank you for listening, thank you for sharing, thank you for helping me when i had period pain, when i had migraine, when my jeans were wet because of that effing pipe.thanks for everything! thank you thank you thank you! 

not to forget. thank you to my partner-in-crime @thecikkay.

team Mastika 

THANK YOU PEOPLE AND NOW MY HOLIDAY HAS JUST STARTED.HOLIDAY SMELLS NICE minus the fyp. no fun no fun.
 

hafasha

my brother is in relationship with a single mom. she is younger than me and she have one daughter name hafasha. this hafasha girl call my brother 'daddy'. she have come to my house several times. but this is our first time meeting each other. let me remind you, this girl is very very very friendly and 'pelat'. this is our 1st conversation.

fasha: babling non-stop

me: fasha cakap apa tu, aunty tak faham lah.

fasha: *trying so hard explaining what she wanted to say. but I still dont get it. pelat dia teruk gila!

me: fasha ni pelat lah. aunty tak paham

fasha: atii aaa pelat! *aunty lah pelat.

me: fasha pelat, aunty tak paham. hahaha

fasha: tak taham tutah *tak paham sudah

okay. i think we'll get along just fine -.-